thankfulness and gratefulness and hmm.

I've had a really hard time coming up with things that I am thankful for, not because I'm not thankful, but because I guess, I've been thinking too much about the whole deal.
I heard Kris McDaniel once say we should live our lives with a sort of grateful lifestyle.
He said it is seeing the world as if it was not something that was made for us but something we are privileged to be a part of. As in, we don't own anything and everything we have is not by us but given to us, handed to us in a way. We may grow the tomatoes from the ground but we never could make them grow. No, someone else made that happen.

One of my most absolute favorite passages in the bible says "He himself gives to all men life and breath and everything else...in him we lives and move and have our being"
and it also says all of this is done in order for us to find him. God provides for us in hopes that we would find him.
I have been thinking too, perhaps it is almost dangerous where we live these days because we are so blanketed with stuff. We have credit cards and swipe them and swipe them and swipe them and essentially shake our fists at God because He has not given what we are in want of. We say He has not given what we need and therefore I think we miss a lot of the Harvest, the provision, the Fatherly love and lavishing of God because we take it out of his hands. We steal and lie and cheat to be and have what we believe we lack. I think a long time ago, sans internet and credit cards and cars and television, needs were much more evident and filling these voids was perhaps more difficult (perhaps?).
And so I want to live treasuring what I have as a gift. Not only that though, I want to hold loosely to my life, my clothes and shoes, my coffee cups and routines. I want to hold loosely to these gifts as only gifts that are not just for me but for the bettering of everyone. I want to trust the fact that God has and WILL provide day after day after day.
Ok. That's all I can say right now. I'm going to visit some people that I absolutely love but I'm not done with all of this. I want this to be something that is being born in me. Using only what I need and blessing others with what God has blessed me with so richly. A simple lifestyle where I throw away my credit card and stop strangling my time with my ideas and hopes and float a little bit more. Bah. Something like that.

But. for now. A list.

hot tea
coffee a million times over again
stories
dark chocolate mint chip cookies
denim table clothes
i'm thankful God doesn't cut his losses.
mexican christmas tree toppers
fleet foxes winter hymnal
my beautiful grandmother
leaves
specifically, ginko trees
adverntures with steph
friendly monks
mean monks that look like friar tuck gone bitter and jaded who drive golf carts around labeled father anthony. yeah, those.
honey
arguille socks
Jesus and how everything He does is backwards
Jesus and how He walked with us
Jesus and how He believed in us even though we still are unaware of Him and fight against Him
I'm thankful for people that write things
I'm thankful for my mom and my brother
and my family
Sarah Watson
Piedmont Park
Parks
walks
walking and winter time
peppermint mochas from starbucks
trinity freaking anglican mission church. everyday.
poetry
words. I love words.
I'm thankful that I came from where I did. I'm thankful for who God made me as
thankful for the fact that I have a lot to work out with Him still
schoolhouse
food
people at grocery stores
the world farmer's market in decatur
for young life and for how terrible i am at it
for arts and crafts time
for books, for stories, for reading time
those long coversations that make you forget you were planning on going to bed at a decent time
emily langston
smores
red "slightly effervescent" wine (thank you trader joes)
trader joes
ok, and kroger too.
I love my little red honda
atlanta
slow days
slow rainy days
slow rainy days with soup and books
new things
the fact that we will never know everthing
mountains and trails over and over again
and homemade hot chocolate (thank you ms. jackie jones)
emily's mom
Corrie Tabb Madlem and her entire family
similar soul friends
friends that are very very very different from me
weddings
french horns and guitars
listening to sarah willing play the piano (please)
sarah willing and her beauty
Jesus saying "Hey, there is a better way to live"
Learning how to live for much bigger things than ourselves (and the fact that it is possible)
grace
this big big big big big big big big world.

There's not enough time, which makes it even sweeter I guess.