change.

A Christian's favorite verb.

We could change these people.
We could change this city.
We could change that family.
You could change someone's heart.
They could use a change.

And then.

We love to impact as well.

And it always startles me when I hear it spoken. My eyebrows kind of frump up or down or whatever and I think "ehh. err. no." Because you know, what right do we have to change someone?

But then again. I think we're affectionate for it. We are affectionate for change...for ourselves (and then follows this awkward desire for others to change as well....but too bad we can't ourselves change anyone...ever [and that I say with deep sadness]).
I sure am affectionate for change though. I hunger so very much for it right now. As I watch Sarah take down her elephants off her wall, as I admire Kimmmiey's quatrefoil graduation cap, as my roommates and I hop in a car, and go from party to party to party laughing and dancing and acting absolutely absurd, and as I feel the heavy humind heat of summer potential hanging in the morning air and night breezes. I want to run away and start over. Start over again. There's something that happens when all we have is our emptied selves and a new frontier. We grow wings or something. We make new friends. We learn something about ourselves....maybe we become braver, and about others...maybe we learn to listen, to ask questions,...to let the words hold some weight within us. Maybe we even learn something about God too. Maybe.
Something about change forces us to live out of the very center of our soul.

And somehow, I can't put my finger on which day was exactly, somehow though - I changed into a settler. but I don't think I'm ready to settle. No. I have explorer pants and chacos and a new bicycle. And questions. So many questions.