she carries it in her hips

I think mourning things that will never be is an important thing to do.
Mourning is a thing that lasts, maybe a couple years, hopefully not forever.
But we've got to hear the finality of the dirt hitting the coffin as we swallow hard.
We've got to take silly walks with our family through the city and see people alive.
We've got to take the pain and hold it out with our hands, the whole lot of it, or we'll carry it forever. And we weren't made to carry it forever.

I never loved you because you were never yourself. And that's okay.


He holds us loosely in His hands
so that we may spin and stretch in His grace.