Something beautiful about humanity.
While I'm trying to squeeze into one firm spot, this community that is talked about all over by so many people, it's all the rage right now...the one good thing (although, if I fly away to Ireland there will be more good things to come of it I guess...) to come from this fluidity of my heart to different kinds of people is something astounding . It's this. The unity of humanity. Each of these friends I have, has a friend group, or a family, or a person, or a boyfriend or a girlfriend that they belong to in a way. Why do we do that? Because we like each other. Humanity naturally likes humanity. We choose to do things together and not apart. So that's beautiful.
but there is a hard part to this. Getting back to myself (mmm, yes.)
I mean. It's awkward.
Walking around the steets (and roofs) of atlanta at 3 a.m. with my inebriated atheist friend.We swore and shook our fists and made all kinds of ruckus when we discovered this. We weaved in and out of neighborhoods, our breath before us in the cold, him stopping here and there to wave his arms and grit his teeth, overcome with anger and hatred towards a people who settle for an easy answer....he calls it religion (or a naked woman, over having to fight for her and take her on a long night of dinner and dancing (isn't that something? Religion...being the naked woman.) ).
He's brilliant. I love love love talking about trees and education and poetry with him. Not talking of these things, talking about them, discussing them. he's quite an ass about some things. And so caring about others. And I think it's beautiful how much he values finding the truth. Even if it makes him hate Jesus. Keep asking questions friend. I too, ask a lot of questions. This is why we are friends.
And then I go to a birthday party for my friend CJ and meet some wonderful people who love the Lord. We play games and laugh and I feel comfortable. They are really good at celebrating each others gifts and talents. David played a song. CJ showed us his newly built table. Maggie was just herself. Candace, hilarious. Carl played a song. Everyone even gave my cookies a standing ovation.
And then there's Justin and Dan and that night where we shared roots and wings and what it means to have a home. That was good for my soul. Dan told me with fastened eyes that I asked "great questions". I sank down in my chair, my face getting hot fast, but I realized something about him made me comfortable enough for me to speak again. Only certain people can make me say what I mean. That's where I'd like to be. Riiiiight there. I'm praying about that one. Thanks be to God :) These things called "feelings" actually do exist. I didn't think I'd ever know what it would feel like to float around the room again, but...it does. It does come. bah. He's. pretty, cool.
Sarah Willing, who is a sobering person I'll probably call my entire life. I don't have words for how good she is. And honest. And good at caring.
And Swat, my playing friend. We're completely different people, and I don't know why we are friends, but we are. It's getting weird, as she has this boyfriend who is spot number one now. I'm excited for her, but it's a slight bummer.
And Alexis. Is. Amazing. Last night we had the fanciest of all fancy dinner parties. Can I say they are incredible girls? Yes. Maggie and I did drink champagne with them. But Jesus drank with his disciples right? Ehhh. Mirandah's mom gave it to us, and it seemed appropriate for the dinner we were having. Whatevs. Alexis made homemade lava cakes, Mirandah rosemary potatos. Myself, Maggie, Anais and Maya were not allowed to touch a thing after arriving. there was garlic bread and fancy salad and eggplant parm, grilled asparagus and northern bean caroni soup. these girls are a part of my heartbeat. it feels right being with them, even when I feel really ostrasized by Christians that don't like them. I could care less. Jesus loves them too. And they're cooler.
Keeping on. Josh and the sharptop interns. One to Five times a month I see them. Love them. Encouraged by them. Love Josh's mom even more, though. See her once to twice a week. She is the definition of a walking BLESSING. "Hi. Want to come over for tea?" Or. "What do you need right now? A thing for apple cider? Okay I'll go buy one right now." "Can I bake cookies to bring?" Everything she does = blessing.
And then there are my roommates who all have different lives but I try to get to know each of them.
And I'm running out of steam here. you see. these are the people I see pretty often. Plus Troy and tucker folks and grown ups and my family and I'm tired. I don't know how to be effective when everything is going everywhere. Little pieces in all directions.
Lord, I want a walled garden.
I am admitting that I have a need. I need people Lord. I need them, anchors.
Like when I went home for Christmas and Dad and Kim took care of the dishes. And let me sleep. And drove me around and shared things with me and let me bake with them instead of for them.
Boy. That stuff.
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